Writing Communities and Toxic Perfectionism
Posted By Nonny on March 8, 2006
Funny how various posts around the web can be so thought-provoking. I’ve been mulling over this for a few days now, and the more I think about it, the more complicated it gets.
OK, so y’all probably want me to cut to the chase. Basically, the posts and threads have got me thinking about practical usefulness of writing communities. (And just to reassure folks who might worry–I’m not questioning administrating Evolution. That’s not the point of this rant. 
I’ve been a member in various writing communities and critique groups for five years, including, but not limited to, Critters, Forward Motion, the Rumor Mill, Evolution, and Romance Divas. So it’s not like I’m coming at this without experience.
Now, so people don’t get the wrong idea … I’m not ranting about specific communities or crit groups at all, but the toxic perfectionism that is all too common in any community. And if it isn’t actively happening at X community, there’s probably a good number of people in X that have had it happen to them elsewhere.
Anyhoo. On to the rant.
Many writing communities have a publication-oriented atmosphere and attitude. This isn’t a problem; I think pursuing publication is great, so long as it’s what the writer wants to do. But attitudes and advice I’ve seen focus on writing for publication to the exclusion of writing for fun. Or they focus on writing “well.”
I know several people who have been told some variant of the following–
“Don’t use ‘was’ or ‘were’ in description; it’s passive.” (Which is actually incorrect.)
“Never use forms of ‘to be.’”
“Show, don’t tell!”
“Don’t use adverbs.”
“Don’t use speech tags.” (Like: “Bloody hell,” he growled.)
“Oh, btw, so-and-so author did something similar.” (Often with the undertone in context that because someone did that–even if the similarities are minute!–you should change your story so there are no parallels.)
“That’s too weird. It’ll never sell.”
“Don’t write [current trend]. The market is glutted and you’ll never be able to sell it.”
And so on.
Basically, advice focusing around “Don’t do that” or “You can’t.”
You know what? I have a huge problem with that. Cause both just set writers up to lose confidence in themselves and feel dejected. New writers are likely to follow advice of people who seem to be more knowledgeable writers. And that can just fuck people over.
What I’ve seen happen–a lot–is people focus on “writing well” or “writing for publication” to the exclusion of writing because they love it. They become so intent on not writing badly, on writing a “perfect” draft, that they lose their passion along the way.
In critiquing, I’ve seen a lot of writers post work that’s technically perfect. Crisp, tight prose, vivid description, proper formatting… but it doesn’t have that spark. It feels illusory, like covering up an arid desert with painted images of flowing waterfalls and lush vegetation. You can still taste the dry, dusty air.
That “spark” can make the difference between an acceptance and a rejection. If you don’t love the work … it shows. It really does.
Most of the time, writers aren’t even fully conscious of it. Many of them struggle to force the words out, battling with their inner demon cracking the “write well” whip.
You know what?
Perfect prose doesn’t matter. Take a look at what’s on the NYT bestseller lists sometime. Pay attention to the prose. Now, ask this: If the author had passed this through your crit group/writing community, how many of the critiquers would have screamed up and down that X, Y, and Z needed to be fixed or it wouldn’t sell?
I’d be willing to bet quite a lot of em.
What matters–and why writers who aren’t really that great but continue to sell in huge numbers–is the story.
Your average reader has no fucking comprehension of Writing Community Prose Rules. Your average reader doesn’t give two shits if you say “he snarled” or “she said frostily.” Your average reader doesn’t give a damn if you say “She had long brown hair” vs. “Long brown hair caught the sun’s brilliant rays, highlights shining bright gold.”
Key is, everything in moderation. Sometimes “he snarled” is the right thing to say. Sometimes using shorthand description is appropriate. Etc.
(Now, before some nitwit decides to use this as an excuse to include every single n00bist writing mistake known to man, let me point back at everything in moderation. Throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater is just as bad as toxic perfectionism.)
I’ve a huge problem with the idea that you must never do X, Y, or Z. While there’s a lot of people who will swear up and down that they don’t tell people “never”–well, maybe they don’t. But it’s sure as hell the impression that comes through. When it’s not just one or two people who hold those opinions, but the majority of people in the community… well, what the hell is a new/intermediate writer without much experience or self-confidence supposed to think?
Any so-called “writing rule” can be broken. There are no rules. Just guidelines. They exist so people who don’t known why they exist don’t make huge mistakes. But they aren’t meant to be followed to the letter, 100% of the time, and that’s how far too many people treat them.
And let’s diverge on the topic a bit more. I’ve seen writers totally change their plots or gave up a book because one supposedly experienced person told them “You can’t do [x]” or “This won’t sell.” Including me–I changed a huge subplot in the book I’m currently rewriting because one person whose opinion I then respected told me I couldn’t have more than one villain in a book. (The original subplot is going back in, btw.) I have a good friend who was told she shouldn’t write vampire fiction because it was all cliched and it wouldn’t sell.
You know what? Whether or not it “sells” doesn’t matter.
What matters is what YOU, the WRITER, get out of writing the book. What matters is that you enjoy it. That you have fun. That you write something that YOU are proud of–not something that conforms to often-conflicting Writing Community “Rules.”
Write what you love.
Write the story that sings to your heart and your soul.
Write for yourself, not for some perfectionistic “audience.”
Cause that’s what matters. That’s what’ll shine through. Cause if you betray your own heart and write something that you don’t love, not deep down … well, it’ll show. And it’ll take its toll. You might not notice it at first. Most people don’t, cause it’s like the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water. You don’t notice it till you’re so blocked you can hardly write and then you can’t figure out why.
The story is what matters. Not perfect prose. The story is what will sell–not how pretty and prim and perfect you write.
A lot more people need to remember that.
Powered by FireStats
Wow, Nonni. You captured what I was thinking tonight. I just received a crit that said I can’t do X, Y, and Z. And not only that but it all felt a little condescending. I’ve got tough skin and I can take it, but what really jerks my chain is that this critter believes (as do most critters I come across)…that just because King said adverbs are the devil’s pawn…well that piece of advice was written in gold and should be held to the letter.
I really dislike that. I don’t like rules. Writing rules are a guideline, something to take stock of to help you strengthen your writing. But if you took out all adverbs…well the book would be about a million times longer with all these unnecessary descriptions when he ran quickly works just as well. Grrr…thankfully, I’ve been around for a while and can ignore crits like those…but to a newbie, something like that is just plain damaging.
My other big pet peeve…people who tell you never to write in passive. I’m sorry, but sometimes passive just reads better. Passive adds an eloquence that active can never touch. All in moderation now, but seriously. If I stuck to those rules all the time my books would be lifeless and dull. I write what I like and know…and you’re damn right that readers don’t give two shits whether I write active over passive.
Gawd, if they did do you think Christine Feehan (with her constant head hopping) would ever have made it as big as she has? I seriously doubt it. As an author her style of writing aggravates the hell out of me, but I’m clearly in the minority and I wish more authors would understand rules are made to be broken. Learn ‘em first, then break ‘em, and you’ll write what you love.
Ironic that you wrote about this tonight, I blogged about something very similar myself.
~~Vivienne (and I too belong to RD, but under my real name.
)
“I really dislike that. I don’t like rules. Writing rules are a guideline, something to take stock of to help you strengthen your writing.”
Exactly. While removing adverbs and forms of “to be” makes stronger, more vivid description–you don’t always need it. Personally, I find it most useful to draw attention to a place or character… like those photoshopped images you see, where everything is greyed out except for the bright red lips, or nails, or such.
“Passive adds an eloquence that active can never touch.”
Passive voice can also place emphasis on the proper subject… for example:
“John was touched by the hand of God” — attention is drawn to *John*
instead of
“The hand of God touched John” — which puts emphasis on the hand.
Make sense?
(I can’t believe I just used God in a grammar example. o.O)
I drown in all the rules. It’s pretty crazy at times. I just got my first edits back and realized I have an LY problem.
Yep, Nonny. I get it. And you make some very valid points. Wish more people would realize that. I think it’s too easy to get brainwashed into a certain style of writing. After you see so many people tell you over and over you can’t use this..(even if they don’t have the slightest clue that in that case yes, you damn well should…) makes it too easy to decide, that’s just it. This is wrong and you become some avenging disciple who’s sole purpose is to strike the use of ly from every single ms.
Grrrr…hate that.
I love that you wrote this! Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been focusing too much on publication and trying to follow all the rules. I’ve been trying to make my “square peg” story fit into a round hole. And it’s never going to happen!
So, I choose to write my story my way. It might never get published, but that’s not the point of writing. It may be the goal, yes. But the point? No, I don’t think so.
I love Evolution, btw! I love that you focus more on the actual writing, less on the misc. b.s., and encourage writers to be who they are. Not that I don’t enjoy RD and other communities… it’s just that the philosophy is different. I think most communities are goal oriented, not craft oriented, and their strict adherence to the “writing rules” is one of the direct results.
Barbara:
“I love Evolution, btw! I love that you focus more on the actual writing, less on the misc. b.s., and encourage writers to be who they are. Not that I don’t enjoy RD and other communities… it’s just that the philosophy is different. I think most communities are goal oriented, not craft oriented, and their strict adherence to the “writing rules” is one of the direct results.”
Exactly. I have nothing but support and encouragement for people who want to be published and work to achieve those goals.
But publication shouldn’t be the end-all, be-all of writing.
It shouldn’t be something that a writer MUST aspire to in order to be a “real writer.” While I haven’t seen anyone out and out told they’re not a “real writer” if publication isn’t that important to them, it’s the attitude they have. I have seen writers told, many times, that they shouldn’t be writing what they’re working on because “it’ll never sell.”
That sort of attitude kills passion. It kills creativity. It kills the love for writing.
I was a member of a writing community founded by a print-published author (call me elitist if you want, but there’s still a distinct difference between print and ebooks, IMO). Several other published authors hung out there and freely gave advice.
All of them were prolific and wrote more than one book a year. Two were self-supporting fiction writers. In blogs and forum posts, they talked about how they submitted proposals to their agent and editor, and decided what they would write based on that. Which makes sense–if writing is your main source of income.
Problem is, the community as a general whole picked up on “write what will sell.” I used to think it was just that community, but I’m really not sure anymore, cause I see it to some extent at RD. At least RD puts it in a positive light. My former community, by the point I left, did not.
If you’re not writing what you love, it carries into your work. It can be beautiful, perfect prose, a great story, and still fall flat cause your heart’s not into it.
That’s part of what we’re trying to focus on with Evolution after the revamp. We want to foster creativity and love for writing, as well as support and encourage those actively trying to get published. I don’t want us to be just another publication-oriented writing community–cause there’s more to writing than just business.
The hardest thing is a lot of people don’t see it going on until they’ve burnt themselves to the core. They don’t recognise that trying for perfection, trying for saleability, changing parts of their work to fit a critiquer’s viewpoint is hurting them. They think they’re making progress. That they’re almost there. Until they hit the glass wall and can’t figure out why they’re blocked.
*shakes head*
It’s really a sad situation.
[...] BTW – everyone should read Nonny’s excellent post on writing by the rules. What she said there really resonated with me because it reflected my own experience. And to add to her post, there are those who mean well but are clueless. There are those who want to sabotage you and use these “rules” to discourage you. [...]