I had to do my annual bra-and-underwear shopping today. Usually I don’t do it more than once a year, because it is a pain in the fucking ass. But, things get old, cats and kittens shred them, gremlins steal them for transvestite parties… end result is: Nonny needs to buy more.

Underwear isn’t that bad, really. The main problem is finding something in black. I have no idea why white and cotton candy pink seem to be the most popular colors considering that most women bleed once a month. And, y’know, pads and tampons are great and wonderful and all that, but they aren’t 100% protective. Blood leaks through and stains undies (if you wear them).

So why, by Lucifer’s navel lint, do people feel the need to stock 90% of women’s underwear in pink or white???

Of course, size 6 underwear in the brand and style (Hanes Body Creations microfiber, bikini style; most comfortable panties evar!) also seems to be the rarest. I could find plenty of panties in size 5, 7, 8, 9, 10, and above. Hell, there were even several pairs of 0 and 2 underwear. 6? Apparently someone got confused about the Number of the Beast and thinks it’s “6″ and not “666,” because I had to dig like a puppy dog on crack to find any in the style I like. (Oh, if only I could stand to wear regular cotton…)

Since I’ve lost a bit of weight since the last time I bought underwear, I bought a size 5. Hopefully those fit well enough. *sigh*

Now, bras … um. Forewarning: Profanity abounds. (Like this is any motherfucking news.)

It is apparently fucking impossible for a woman with 36B cup tits to find a bra that isn’t a cocksucking push-up bra. (Yes, they’re selling talented multi-tasking bras these days.) If you’re a C, D, DD, or above cup, there’s fucking plenty of non-padded, non-pushup pretty lacy bras. WTF do they think, that anyone who has a fucking B rack is insecure and needs to fucking compensate?

I like my tits the size they are. I don’t need a push-up bra to make myself look good. Hell, I had enough people comment on the cleavage from my wedding pictures, and I wasn’t wearing a bra then. The only fucking reason I buy the goddamn things in the first place is because I have some nice shirts and dresses that don’t look right without them. 99% of the time, I don’t bother to wear the things. (Ask Morgan if you don’t believe me.)

Sure, they had sports bras that would “fit” — as much as any sports bra ever does. They fucking crush my tits and hurt my back. Supportive, my ass. I could probably go to a specialty store like Vickie’s and find something, but I don’t want to drop $50 on a piece of clothing I never fucking wear. It’s not that important.

After scouring the racks, I found two bras that might be acceptable — non-underwire, shaped like a normal bra; I think the fabric probably won’t agree with me, but I’ll give it a try. Then I thought about it and decided to look in the girl’s section. I used to find 36B there before, and I thought there was a decent chance I’d find something more acceptable.

Okay… am I the only person who thinks there is something FUNDAMENTALLY FUCKING WRONG when the only thing I can find in the GIRL’S SECTION is push-up bras??????? They didn’t even have the little training bras I used to get; just a few sports bras, and the rest were all push-up or padded.

I am deeply disturbed.

And I am fucking glad I don’t have to do this for another motherfucking year.

Several people said outright that if an author they considered “auto-buy” deviated from her norm and published a different book than they expected, they would drop her like a hot potato. If the book in question is not a romance but is labeled as one, then they have every right to be fucking pissed. But some of these people were saying that romance writers should use different pen names per sub-genre, much less for other genres like mystery or fantasy. WTF?

I’m not understanding how somebody can not realize that a book isn’t a romance.

1. If you’re in a bookstore or library, the book very well may be shelved somewhere other than romance. This ought be a dead giveaway.
2. The spine will usually say something else besides “romance.”
3. The back cover copy should also be a clue.
4. If you mainly order online, most romance authors will mention books are in different genres on their website.

If both the publisher and the author are deliberately misleading, then yes, you should be pissed. But I truly do not understand the thought process behind “use a different name.” People say you can cross-promote, but it isn’t always that easy. Promotion for one pen name takes a lot of time, much less multiple. If you’re print published, most readers are going to pick books up based on author name or cover art. If you’re using a different name, readers aren’t going to recognize your name. As far as they’re concerned, you’re another new author. Very few writers who use pen names get to put “Mary Sue writing as Dora Delany” on the cover. What you’re left with is people who read the bios in the back of the book, and those who read your website.

What about authors like myself, who have a setting they use for multiple genres? The Twilight Deception is a paranormal romance, but I also have an urban fantasy novel (in progress) and an epic fantasy (on hold) in the same setting, along with many other stories. It’s going to look very damn odd if what appears to be two different authors reference things from the same setting.

And for all the readers who complain about authors who don’t use pen names, there are readers who complain about ones who do.

We can’t fucking win.

Seriously. This is, like, the third time it’s happened. I’m beginning to think this might be the Powers That Be giving me a hint whapping me upside the head with a clue-x-4.

All right, look. I don’t know a published author out there who likes reading negative reviews of her work. (I’m sure there must be a few sick people out there, so I’m sticking the “I don’t know a…” on there in case someone decides to speak up just to prove me wrong. ) Really, who likes to be told that something they spent long hours on sucks ass like a cheap whore who can’t figure out which end to blow? Yeah, I thought so.

But I see a lot of authors whining about reviews on blogs and boards. Of course, people have a right to say what they want, but so do I. I’m constantly annoyed by people who post a long “woe is me” whine about a glowing review that had two lines of minor criticism. “I wished she had spent more time on… [whatever].”

Author’s response: “OMG! She HAAAAAAAATED it!!!”

Other people’s responses: “Oh, poor baby, the mean reviewer!”

Me: *mutter*growl* *wander off to kill virtual zombies* (Because there aren’t any real zombies to kill instead…)

Seriously, that’s annoying, but it doesn’t bother me as much as some of the other stuff. I try to have patience for new authors/writers, even if I don’t always succeed. At least I usually succeed in keeping my trap shut.

What really cooks my goose are the authors who say that readers shouldn’t ever say anything negative about a book they read. Um. HELLO? If the reader paid her hard-earned cash to buy your book, she is fucking entitled to post her opinion on her blog. It doesn’t matter if you like it or not. Sure, I’d love it if everyone who read my books loved them, but that’s not realistic. Some people are just gonna hate them, for whatever reason. Maybe it’s not the sort of book they expected. Maybe the tone isn’t one they like. Maybe something in the book is a “hot button trigger.” Or maybe they just plain don’t like it. Do you like every book you’ve ever read? I thought not.

The issue is a bit squidgier when you’re talking about reviews blogs/sites that function mostly based upon author submissions. Places have different protocols. For example, at Evolution’s (poorly tended) book reviews, if one reviewer hates a book, we hand it to another. If the second also hates it, the two reviewers compare notes. We then contact the author, explain succinctly why the reviewers disliked it, and ask if the author would still like the review posted.

I don’t think I need to say what the answer usually is. LOL.

Other places don’t give such an option. And they have every right to do it the way they want.

Ironically, the people that have complained the most have been authors who sent their work somewhere for review and then had it trashed. Look, if you send your book to a reviewer like Mrs. Giggles, you had damn well better expect it. Reviewers like that are hard even on the books they like, much less books they don’t.

Of course, then the response is, “Reviewers like that should only give out complimentary reviews or close! It’s mean to be snarky!”

Dot. Dot. Fucking. Dot.

Yes, because newspapers and professional industry publications so work that way. You’ll never see a negative review come out of someplace like Publishers Weekly or your local newspaper. Nope, it’s just full of sugar and spice and everything nice, and you’ll never have to deal with that there. /sarcasm

I don’t really have words to explain how stupid I think this attitude is. This is the real fucking world, people, not a everyone-play-nice sandbox. Sure, negative reviews hurt and make you doubt yourself and what you’re doing–but if you’re going to bitch, do it to your crit partner, writing buddy, whatever. Don’t sit there and throw a public temper tantrum because someone “trashed” your “baby.” (Who the fuck came up with that crazy book-as-baby idea, anyway?)

Shit happens. Get over it and start writing the next book.

And before Ms. Lisle sees the trackback ping and comes to bitch me out like she’s done to the folks over at Dear Author, when you say the following:

To understand why chain bookstores are the Villians of Bookselling, first you have to understand how books are sold right. So we’ll look at the Heroes of Bookselling, independent (or indie) bookstore owners and booksellers.

You are insinuating that the chain bookstores are “evil.”

… hell, I still might write that rant.

Okay. First off. I follow over 200 blog feeds via Google Reader. That’s not including the people I keep track of on my LiveJournal. That’s a lot of reading, but I skim a lot of the stuff that doesn’t interest me, so it really doesn’t impact my time as much as you might think. (Now, when I have stuff I want to comment on, that’s a different story. )

Over the past six months or so, there’s been a growing trend in promotion. Instead of or in addition to shameless self-promotion, get your friends, readers, relatives, whatever, to post your book info on their blog, group, etc.

I understand why writers do this. It’s important for them to get their names out, especially new writers (in the case of print publishing, they need to make a certain number of sales in order to remain published). I’ve posted promo for my friends before, too. (Though I’m bad about remembering to do so… like blogging in general. >_<)

But I've seen authors who already have several books out doing it, too.

Why does this annoy me?

The other day, I scrolled past what must have been over twenty blog posts that were exactly the same thing. All promo for one specific book. Now, it’s a book I intended to pick up anyway, because I liked the first and am very interested in seeing what the author does with the follow-up, but Lord and Lady… when I’m scrolling through some fifty-odd posts, it’s bloody annoying for them to all be the same thing. I’m still getting posts in my Google Reader for it.

Sure, you’re getting your name out in front of people, but I’m not so certain it’s in a “good” way. Speaking as a reader, if I’m annoyed enough at the constant promo spamming (and at a certain point, yes, I do consider it equivalent to “spam”) my feed reader, by the time the book comes out several months (in some cases) later, I may not remember why I was annoyed… but I’ll most likely remember the negative connection. It’s possible I might assume it was a bad advance review I read; my memory isn’t the greatest.

I also have to question the effectiveness of this method of promotion. In many cases, I can point to the vast majority of people posting these stock promotions to a single group of writers. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but how many people outside that group are you going to reach? I’ve noticed that the promotions don’t tend to pass beyond the first circle of people doing them; that is, say you have the Original Author posting the request. Circle A (let’s say about 20-40 people) posts them. Unless there is some significant prize for posting the promotion (such as the case of Dear Author’s viral blog experiment a month or two back), it won’t advance to a Circle B.

Certainly, there are exceptions to this, and perhaps I’m wrong. If so, I would appreciate someone pointing out such, along with links. I don’t follow the entire blogosphere of romance writers; I don’t have that much time!

On the other hand… when J.R. Ward’s Lover Awakened came out, I saw a lot of people blogging about how excited they were about the release, or how much they loved it when they read it. I saw probably as many posts about that as I have with the stock promotions. Again, speaking as a reader, I’m much more likely to pick up a book based on posts by people who have read the book vs. people who are posting for a prize. If there’s that many people getting excited about the book, then there’s probably a reason for it.

Frankly, I’d rather see that sort of promo in my feed reader, both as a reader–and as a writer.

Just my opinionated 2c, as usual.

This morning, my computer was running as slow as molasses in midwinter. I couldn’t figure out why, but Firefox was using 70-150MB of RAM. It should use between 30-50MB. Open Office, the word processor I’ve been using, was taking up around 50MB, even when it wasn’t open. Combined with the miscellaneous other programs I keep open, my computer was moving at a snail’s pace.

Granted, I need to defrag, but it was behaving very oddly for it to be just that. So upgraded Firefox, shut down a couple programs, and installed AbiWord.

AbiWord, however, lagged like a motherfucker when trying to do simple functions like word count. Then, after writing several hundred words, it crashed while I tried to turn off widow/orphan control. >_<

Of course, autosave isn’t a default function.

Me = pissed.

So, I’m back to Open Office and trying to rewrite what I’d written before. Thankfully, I’d snippeted part of it in chat. And I’m probably going to reinstall Word and see if that works any better. *sighs*

And they don’t. I’m behind that 100%. There’s nothing that pisses me off more than a “romance” novel that reads like Domestic Violence for Dummies. Let’s see, an “alpha” male who’s testosterone-poisoned “dominant” to the point of pitching fits over every petty little detail, puts the heroine down at every turn, has absolutely no consideration for her, period … and we’re supposed to think this guy is a hero because he’s 6′+ and has a big dick? Oh, right, cause the heroine, in the end, loses her fucking mind, decides she wants to give up her career and life, settle down with Ye Olde Abuser, and pop out dozens of his spawn. (Note: I have nothing against heroines who want kids. I have issues with “epilogues” where the heroine who has vocally opposed kids earlier in the book changes her mind after marrying the hero. Gag me with a fucking porcupine.)

Yeah. Agree all the way on that.

But I’m very disturbed by the recent trend of calling alpha males who are sensitive and considerate of the heroine “gamma males.” I have a serious problem with it, because doing so misrepresents alpha males as abusive assholes. They’re not supposed to be and they don’t have to be.

Look, I like alpha males. A lot. When they’re done well — go read J. R. Ward’s Black Dagger Brotherhood novels or Anne Bishop’s Black Jewels trilogy for examples. To me, there’s nothing hotter than a strong guy who can take charge and lead, who is man enough to not be threatened by a strong, dominant woman. The heroine should be his
partner — not his fucking lapdog to sit on the sidelines while he Saves The Day™.

Calling true alpha males “gammas” is, IMO, ignoring the entire issue altogether. “Okay, there’s too many assholes wearing alpha suits running around, so we’ll just call them gammas.” Uh. No. I don’t think so. It doesn’t help that I’ve seen several alternate definitions of “gamma,” so how the hell is anyone supposed to know you’re talking about a decent alpha male? Really, now. Shoving the elephant in the closet isn’t going to do anyone a damned bit of good.

Where do you stand on the issue?

(Note: A random person who comments on this entry will win a free copy of my e-book, Waking the Shadows.)

I’ve seen this elsewhere around writing fora, loops, and journals/blogs. Many writers assume that writing “well” is the most important factor in selling a short story or novel. These are often the same people who ask “How are Terry Brooks / Robert Jordan / Dan Brown / etc. best-selling authors? They can’t write for crap! They break all the ‘rules!’”

(Trust me. I’ve heard it. I didn’t understand, either, several years ago.)

The key here is story. An author doesn’t hit the NYT if the story sucks rocks. It might not be to some people’s tastes, but that’s going to be true of about anything, because personal likes and dislikes are subjective. Bestsellers have some quality in the story that captivates readers, otherwise they wouldn’t read it. (Outside of the controversy factor, that is, but I doubt that controversy alone can make a bestseller.)

I’ve been in critique / writing groups for several years now, and I have seen a lot of stories and novels that are technically perfect. The writing shines. But the story itself is often standard, predictable … “safe.”

This attitude is often encouraged in various sorts of writer’s groups. I’ve received far too many critiques from multiple different sources where the critiquer focused on the writing but ignored the big picture. I know other people who have received the same. Romance writers have talked about receiving crits from contests that focus primarily on writing “perfection” without looking at the story. Perhaps the intention isn’t to encourage people to focus on the writing first, but it’s often the way it comes across.

This isn’t to say that good writing isn’t important. If your writing sucks like a cheap whore who can’t figure out which end to blow, an agent or editor likely won’t make it past your query letter, much less take you on. (And by this, I mean truly horrid prose. If you’ve ever critiqued a beginning writer’s first novel or short story, you know exactly the sort of thing I’m talking about.) Writing is important, too.

But. It’s a lot easier to fix a novel that has passable writing than it is to fix a story that’s at heart “ho-hum.” Line edits are a piece of cake. Rewriting the entire book because it’s competant but not good enough? Not easy. (I’m in the middle of it myself.)

Yes, it’s a delicate balance. But I don’t think it’s impossible. The Internet is an immensely useful tool for writers to commune and help each other along — but the “downside” to this is that there are more competant writers than there used to be. At one point, it was good enough to be “competant.” It isn’t anymore. You need to be good — and by that, I’m not talking about the technicalities of writing alone, but the quality of the story you’re telling. Though how to tell a story that’s unique and different while still being marketable is another matter entirely…

Is it tougher for writers to get published nowadays than it used to be? I think so, though I couldn’t say for certain. I know there are some writers who get upset and worried about the competition, wondering whether or not they can “make it.” Me? I see it as a challenge.

What do you think? Are the expectations / standards for new writers unreasonable (as some people seem to think), or is it par for the course? Do you find it depressing — or just another obstacle to overcome?